Priestly Celibacy

Bishop John Jukes of Southwark was one of the leading lights – and best brains – of the Catholic Church when I (Damian Thompson of the Telegraph) was still at school. Today, much to my surprise, an email from this remarkable Franciscan appeared in my inbox, asking politely if I’d be interested in his thoughts on 87 years of celibacy. Having reported so negatively on the antics of various Catholic bureaucrats, I’m delighted to reproduce his article, whose defence of this ancient spiritual tradition is in such contrast to the sneers and incomprehension of the Church’s critics.

I have always enjoyed the company of women. Their way of talking, the often – to me – apparently illogical style of reasoning, coupled with their physical appearance, have provided fascinating objects of wonder and interest. So you will understand how great was the step I took when I was 28 to freely take a life-long vow to God that I would never marry. It was a vow that I am still keeping in this year of Pope Benedict’s visit to Britain. I am still keeping this vow that I took under the example and inspiration of St Francis of Assisi because by it I am more closely linked to Jesus Christ, son of Mary of Nazareth and Son of God. Now as I celebrate my 87th birthday I reflect upon celibacy as I have experienced it and how this gift of God has placed me at the service of the Catholic Church and the people of God.

The choice of life-long celibacy is made by many hundreds of thousands of individuals in the life of the Catholic Church. Some do so, men and women, by electing to take a vow of perpetual celibacy as a member of a religious Order or Congregation. Other men seek ordination to the Catholic priesthood and thereby accept the discipline of perpetual celibacy which has been the rule in the western or Latin rite part of the Catholic Church for many centuries. While each individual will have personal and individual motives for undertaking what is by usual human standards a considerable sacrifice, yet all combine in a common conviction that they are seeking to place themselves at the side of Christ Our Saviour. We seek thereby to present in a distinctive way to the human race through the ages the Good News about Jesus Christ. I am convinced from my own experience that the gift of life-long celibacy has given me a great advantage in presenting Jesus and His teaching to mankind.

I was ordained to the priesthood in Liverpool in July 1952. I have spent my life since then serving in parishes, preaching parish missions, lecturing to church students and as an auxiliary bishop of Southwark with responsibility for the area of Kent. During this time I served for 38 years in the Tribunal for dealing with claims for nullity of marriage. In all these varied duties and activities, it became increasingly clear to me that the gift of celibacy has been an essential element in my response to the intellectual and emotional challenges arising from the needs of the people seeking my help.

I hold that each and every human being is made in the image and likeness of God. While each of us is responsible for our own decisions that will determine our individual eternal destiny, there is under God a shared solidarity between us, so that we are called to aid each other in achieving our fulfilment with God. Thus while each of us has our distinctive personhood, yet all human beings are in need of other human beings to form a web of relations in which we live and develop. Sadly, sometimes in developing our relations with our fellow human beings we do so solely under the impulse of self-gratification. In such a cases, a major opportunity to develop according to the mind of God is lost. For me, the commitment to life-long celibacy has proved a constant reminder to me of Jesus Christ who came to our world to give of Himself even to suffering death as an act of loving service of me and fellow sinners in ensuring the achieving of eternal salvation for all.

In addition to these rather abstract theological considerations, there are the day-to-day practical elements in my life as a celibate that have shaped the way I live for over fifty years. For the majority of the fifty years I lived in community with my brother Franciscans, immersed in a daily round of prayer, housekeeping and constant reflection on how to meet the needs of the people we served. When I became a bishop thirty years ago I entered upon a much more solitary existence, but with a similar duty of encouragement and reflection with the priests in my area of the Southwark diocese who, like me, were committed to celibacy and unrelenting priestly service of the people in their care.

It is suggested by some people that the life of a priest must be lonely. This has not been my experience. I have been blessed with an awareness of the presence in my life of Jesus Christ at my side. When in community life human relations have become a burden, when my efforts to serve the people have been rejected or ineffectual, Jesus has helped by reminding me of the rejection He had to sustain. When I have seen the good news of the Gospel spurned I have turned to Jesus. He has never deserted me. He has led me out of the sorrow of failure to remind me that He has sustained me in my celibacy. So I trust in the mercy and generosity of God, embodied in Jesus Son of God and Son of Mary, that has enabled me to live a celibate life of joy for the 87 years of my dwelling in this creation.

Filey yesterday

Lunch at the White Lodge Hotel and a sunny walk through the gardens, along the sea front, and around the town.

53 Years Married

....also Ruth's 51st birthday.

For the first time ever we have bought each other the same anniversary card.

First to chapel and then out to Filey for fresh air and food.

Gay Marriage

Religious bodies can host gay ceremonies, say peers

by Simon Sarmiento (Church Times today)

LORD ALLI’s amendment to the Equality Bill, which allows civil partnerships to be registered on religious premises, if religious bodies wish to allow it, was approved during the Report Stage in the House of Lords on Tuesday by 95 votes to 21.

The proposed changes to the Civil Partnership Act had been significantly modified since the debate in January (News, 5 February). The scope is narrowed to England and Wales, and the existing rule that “no religious service is to be used while the civil partnership registrar is officiating at the signing of a civil partnership document” is retained.

An additional clause reads: “For the avoidance of doubt, nothing in this Act places an obligation on religious organisations to host civil partnerships if they do not wish to do so.” A further clause states: “Regulations may provide that premises approved for the registration of civil partnerships may differ from those premises approved for the registration of civil marriages.”

Lord Alli stressed that the issue was one of religious freedom. “Religious freedom means letting the Quakers, the liberal Jews, and others host civil partnerships. It means accepting that the Church of England and the Catholic Church should not host civil partnerships if they do not wish to do so.”

Lady Butler-Sloss supported Lord Alli. “Same-sex couples can have strong and devoted relationships equal to, but different from, marriage, and they may wish to have those relationships sanctified by a religious ceremony.”

The Rt Revd Lord Harries of Pentregarth said: “Religious freedom is indivisible. If the Church of England claims it for itself, it ought to allow it for others. Some people have suggested that it undermines marriage, but, on the contrary, it strengthens marriage. The real enemy in our society is promiscuity, not permanent, stable, faithful relationships. These strengthen marriage.”

The Bishop of Bradford, Dr David James, warned of “unintended consequences” if the amendment was passed. “At the moment, however, civil partnerships are not in substance or in form same-sex marriages. There are some countries that have already introduced the possibility of marriage between people of the same sex, and no doubt some of those sympathetic to the amendment . . . favour that direction of travel. I do not, and neither do the majority of Churches and faiths in this country.”

Lady Morris of Bolton, for the Con servatives, did not think it was “the appropriate time to delve into the myriad complexities” that this issue raised. She noted that “it would automatically lead to increased pressure to change the civil marriage cere mony.” Lady Royall, for the Government, also resisted the amendment, which, she said, “would break the carefully established and maintained link between civil partnerships and civil marriages — the foundation of the civil partnership regime. That would lead to the anomalous position where civil partnerships could take place in religious premises but civil marriages could not.”

All parties were allowed a free vote. Dr James voted against the motion, and the Bishop of Newcastle, the Rt Revd Martin Wharton, voted in favour. The Bill awaits a Third Reading in the House of Lords.

Professor Iain McLean, author of last week’s letter to The Times (News, 26 February), said: “To have achieved this result despite the opposition of both front benches and the bench of bishops is remarkable. I hope that the Conservatives in the House of Commons will also support it.”

How the other half loves

(Visiting the theatre this afternoon)

The Stephen Joseph Theatre Company in

How The Other Half Loves

Written and directed by Alan Ayckbourn

You tell one little tiny lie and where does it land you?

Fiona and Bob started it all but had no idea it would lead to Bob’s wife Theresa springing into misguided, well meaning, action and to Fiona’s husband Frank getting hold of entirely the wrong end of the stick. All of which would turn William and Mary’s conventional lives upside down so that neither of them would ever be quite the same again.

And they all lived, better people, more or less happily ever after – though none the wiser.

Alan Ayckbourn’s classic farce returns to Scarborough in this new, rare in-the-round production by the author, his first since its premiere 40 years ago.

“Alan Ayckbourn must be the most ingenious writer of situation comedy of our day”
Financial Times

“The techniques are fresh, the lines are funny and the situations constantly surprising. It is an immediate smash hit.”
International Herald Tribune

Synopsis

How The Other Half Loves has a single set, which represents two separate but over-lapping living rooms. One is a smart room with reproduction period furniture (the Fosters’ home); the other more contemporary and shabby (The Phillips’ home). Action takes place in both houses simultaneously allowing the playwright to play with both stage space and time during the course of the play. Alan Ayckbourn firmly believes for the play to work it has to be set as a period piece in the autumn of 1969.

How The Other Half Loves concerns three couples: Frank and Fiona Foster; Bob and Teresa Phillips; William and Mary Featherstone. Frank employs both Bob and William and is considering promoting the latter. Bob is having an affair with Frank’s wife Fiona and is in constant conflict with his own wife, Teresa. She feels Bob is neglecting her while she raises their baby and is suspicious of his actions and phantom phone-calls made to the house. When he returns late, she confronts him about his actions and he lies that he has been comforting work associate William, who believes his wife Mary is having an affair.
Frank and Fiona’s relationship is in stark contrast to the torrid emotions of Bob and Teresa’s. They share a polite, distant and evasive relationship and when Frank asks Fiona where she has also been, she says she has been comforting Mary - who she barely knows - who apparently believes William is having an affair. Of course, William and Mary are innocent parties and neither of the adulterers realise they have both implicated the Featherstones in their alibis. Both parties swear their partners to secrecy - particularly as both couples are entertaining the Featherstones on successive nights.
The second scene concerns the dinner parties, both performed simultaneously (William and Mary sit on swivelling seats so as to ‘move’ from one party to the other). At the Fosters, the Featherstones are treated to a polite and banal evening with William desperately trying to impress Frank in the hope of a promotion. At the Phillips, the couple attempt to be a calming influence on Bob and Teresa’s fiery relationship, but are dragged into a destructive and very physical argument. Of course, all the Featherstones’ efforts are doomed to failure anyway as members of both parties suspect both William and Mary of sexual indiscretions. At the climax of the disastrous evenings, William is accidentally doused with soup thrown by Teresa at Bob and finds himself sitting beneath a leak from the Fosters’ upstairs toilet.
In Act Two, Bob and Teresa are on the verge of splitting up. Mary comes round to try and help and to get away from William, as a result meeting Bob. Teresa has meanwhile gone to the Fosters and realises Bob has been having an affair with Fiona. She returns home. Frank calls Bob’s house, but the phone is picked up by Mary. Frank presumes Bob and Mary are having an affair. He tells William this, who goes round to confront Bob - who by then has patched things up with Teresa. William arrives and attacks Bob with a monkey wrench only to be knocked out by Teresa.
With matters totally confused, largely due to Frank’s clumsy interventions, he summons everyone to his house to clear the air - although he still believes Bob’s affair is with Mary. He soon realises his mistake and when the truth emerges, William is forced to apologise to Mary - or as close as he can come to an apology. Mary forgives him in a simple but devastating critique of her husband and their marriage. Bob and Teresa settle their differences and reach an understanding of sorts. After the couples have left, Fiona admits to Frank she has had a casual fling but manages not to reveal with whom. Frank forgives her at the mention of a reconciliation dinner.
As the play ends, Frank suddenly realises he may know who Fiona was having an affair with. He rings Bob, only for Teresa to pick up the phone. She immediately believes he is the phantom caller and a confused Frank agrees to meet Teresa privately to discuss his problems and frustrations….

Copyright: Simon Murgatroyd 2007

Julian and Barbara

Today would have been their golden wedding anniversary.

Together for ever now.

Thank heaven for little girls

"Thank Heaven for Little Girls"

by Learner and Lowe for the film "Gigi"

Each time I see a little girl
of 5 or 6 or 7
I can't resist a joyous urge to smile and say,
"thank heaven for little girls
For little girls, get bigger, every day
thank heaven for little girls
they grow up in the most delightful way
those little eyes so helpless and the appealing
one day we will flash and send you crashing through the ceiling
thank heaven for little girls
thank heaven for them all
no matter where, no matter who
without them, what would little boys do
thank heaven, thank heaven, thank heaven for little girls

those little eyes, so helpless, and appealing
one day will flash and send you crashing through the ceiling
thank heaven for little girls
thank heaven for them all
no matter where, no matter who
without them, what would little boys do
thank heaven,
thank heaven,
thank heaven for little girls
thank heaven for little girls

Celebrating marriage and family

This weekend we thank God for 52 years of marriage and for our daughter's 5oth birthday by putting flowers in chapel and decorating our home. After all it has been a joint venture!

Two for the price of one

A leap of faith for weddings

The Church of England's plan to offer a joint wedding and baptism service is practical - and could be taken further.

The Church of England has announced that it is going to offer a kind of job lot in its wedding services. Get married and you can throw in the baptism of your children born out of wedlock, or maybe just a thanksgiving for the gift of a child. In one sense, this is eminently practical; statistics released this year showed that the number of young women having children outstrips the number getting married. Some 44 per cent of all babies are now born to unmarried mothers. So the Church is meeting people where they are, rather than where it has traditionally taught that they should be, which is at the altar for holy matrimony before they produce children.

One view will hold that this is the kind of moral compromise that has come to characterise the Church of England, which should play no part in the encouragement of having illegitimate children. But it is also a central tenet of the Christian faith that anyone, anywhere has access to God's grace. And apparent sins of the parents can hardly be visited on a child offered for baptism.

Our clergy are noting that, for some unmarried couples, the baptism service now fulfils a desire for a public event that demonstrates and rejoices in their commitment to family life. Both sides of the family turn out in their Sunday best, take photos of the event and celebrate with parties afterwards that are not dissimilar to wedding receptions.

We would suggest respectfully that our established Church might take one step further. As well as offering baptisms alongside marriages, it might also offer a wedding rather more robustly to those who are unmarried and bring their children to baptism. Those who are increasingly willing to celebrate their faith publicly through the baptism of their child might also like to consider the sacramental value of marriage.

First Lady

Michelle Obama must do it her way

Much is expected of Michelle Obama; both publicly and privately, writes Liz Hunt

 

Liz Hunt 

Who should Michelle Obama look to for inspiration? Photo: Getty

'Nothing,' said Thomas Jefferson, "gives one person so much

 advantage over another as to remain always cool and 

unruffled under all circumstances." While it was to 

Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy that Barack 

Obama looked for inspiration yesterday, it is the words

 of the third president that he embodies. The "unruffled"

 demeanour is a defining characteristic. Now it is also an 

attribute of the woman at his side.

It has not come naturally to Michelle Obama. At heart,

she remains the feisty girl from working-class Chicago

 who studied hard and earned the prizes. Used to speaking 

her mind, she did so early on in the campaign and found 

herself lambasted for belittling her husband when she 

joked about him being "snorey and stinky" in bed. Later,

 she was condemned for "emasculating" him when she

quipped: "He's a gifted man, but in the end, he's just 

a man."

But she learned fast from the criticism and from the

objections to perceived gaffes such as the "terrorist fist

 bump" and an alleged lack of patriotism. She gave up kicking 

off her shoes and going barefoot, and was rarely, if ever, 

photographed looking less than perfectly groomed. Even on 

holiday in Hawaii at Christmas, she denied the paparazzi 

the swimsuit shot. And yesterday, she arrived at the 

White House, polished, poised and ready for the challenge.

Much is expected of President Obama – nothing less than 

saving the world. But much is expected of Michelle, too. 

Publicly, she must deliver as châtelaine of 1600 Pennsylvania 

Avenue, and on the world stage. Privately, she has to deliver

 as a wife to a man about to be tested as few in history have

 been, and as mother to two young girls whose lives must

 retain some semblance of normality in the most abnormal 

of circumstances. She must also live with the knowledge that

 her family are the target of every crazy racist or terrorist.

So, to whom should Michelle look for inspiration? To the 

admirable, but bland example of the Bush wives, Barbara 

and Laura? To the wannabe-president Hillary, who flip-flopped

between healthcare reform and baking cookies – and failed 

on both counts? What about Nancy Reagan, living proof that

 you can be too rich, too thin and wear too much Elnett? 

There is, of course, Jackie Kennedy, with whom Mrs Obama 

has been compared sartorially, but how disappointing if she

 turns out to be no more than a glamorous appendage to her

 husband. Whatever she does, Michelle Obama will do it her way,

 learning from the mistakes of others, but mimicking none. Nor 

should she.

Just as Barack Obama seems to be the man for turbulent 

times and a world in flux, so, too, is this woman, whose

 experience of work, motherhood and marriage resonate with

 so many. So can she deliver? On the evidence so far – yes,

 she can.

Anglican bedfellows

The Church of England along with the three other Anglican churches of these isles is in full communion with the Church of Sweden, which is about to debate and probably approve a proposed rite of same-sex marriage. And there is no Anglican-English-style fudge here, over 'when is a blessing a wedding and when is it just a blessing'. This comes as the Lutheran Church in Britain prepares to consecrate this country's first woman bishop. The church said: 'The Lutheran Church in Great Britain will consecrate its first woman bishop, the Right Rev Jana Jeruma-Grinberga, on Saturday 17th January 2009, in the historic Wren church of St Anne & St Agnes on Gresham Street, in the City of London. Her predecessor, the Right Rev Walter Jagucki, will preside at the service, and bishops and other clergy from Nordic and European Lutheran churches will participate in the consecration.'

"As far as the new Lutheran rite is concerned, these are real, one-flesh-and-all-that same-sex marriages we are talking about here. The Swedish church already has two women bishops and we've remained in communion with them through that one, so I don't suppose this will make any difference. It just seems a bit unfair that The Episcopal Church should get it in the neck for Gene Robinson, and Canada for New Westminster, while another church, albeit Lutheran not Anglican, gets away with it. Poorvoo but not pour vous, it seems, if you are a gay Anglican in England or TEC." (Ruth Gledhill)

Wife and Mother

St Monica

It is often said that behind every great man there is an even greater woman! A light-hearted version of the same one-liner suggests that behind every great man there is an astonished mother-in-law! Joking aside, history bears witness to the truth that behind many a great saint there is an extraordinary mother, and one such mother was St Monica, the mother of St Augustine.

St Monica was born in Tagaste (modern-day Souk Ahras, Algeria) in around 332 to 338. She was raised in a Christian home but married Patricius, a pagan, who proved to be an unfaithful and violent husband (although he never beat Monica). Despite her unhappy marriage St Monica persevered and loved her husband as best she could. Although our age may find this counsel difficult to accept, she advised other women going through marriage difficulties: ‘If you can master your tongue, not only do you run less risk of being beaten, but perhaps you may even, one day, make your husband better.’ The advice paid off in her own life as Patricius underwent a conversion and from that time on led an exemplary Christian life.

St Monica bore three children. Although proud of her son Augustine in many ways (he was a very successful rhetorician and scholar), she was deeply ashamed of his rejection of her Christian faith and his debauched way of life. Distraught and at the end of her tether she approached St Ambrose who was so moved by her witness of a mother’s love that he said: ‘It is impossible that the son of so many tears should perish.’ He was right and, at the age of twenty-eight, Augustine was received and baptized by St Ambrose himself.As St Monica lay dying, aged fifty-six, she said: ‘There was indeed one thing for which I wished to tarry a little in this life, and that was that I might see you a Catholic Christian before I died. My God hath answered this more than abundantly, so that I see you now made his servant and spurning all earthly happiness. What more am I to do here?’

On this her feast-day we pray to St Monica who is patron saint of patience and of all wives and mothers, and we ask for her intercession that all those called to the noble vocation of marriage and motherhood.

Lambeth Spouses

Lambeth Daily
Book Launch of 'Marriage, Mitres and Myself’ by Jane Williams

Jane Williams launched the book ‘Marriage, Mitres and Myself’ on Thursday 17 July at the Lambeth Conference. The Sports Hall, which has been transformed into the Spouses Venue, was filled with the members of the Spouses Conference and their spouses – the Bishops!

The book published by SPCK contains pieces from Bishops’ Spouses from around the world concerning what it is like to be married to a Bishop. Jane Williams explained that she had e-mailed all the Bishops’ Spouses to ask them to write something for her and many had responded. So, she said she hadn’t really written it but had simply drawn together all the material.

Reading extracts from the book Jane Williams told those present that this book was a celebration of all that the spouses do in their varied situations. Some run education and health care programmes and all offer hospitality to the many people who visit their homes.

The launch, sponsored by SPCK, offered refreshments and Divine Fairtrade Chocolate and Joanna Moriarty, from SPCK, said that the book was a best seller and had been reprinted twice. SPCK gave a copy of the book to all the spouses and queues gathered around the hall for their copy to be signed by Jane Williams and to have their photograph taken with her.


Marriage, Mitres and Being Myself
Jane Williams
SPCK £7.99 (978-0-281-06018-4)
Church Times Bookshop £7.20

ANYBODY who wants to know why the Lambeth Conference is necessary for the health of the Anglican Communion should read this little book.

Jane Williams, finding herself expected to mastermind the spouses’ conference that runs alongside the Lambeth Conference of Anglican bishops in July, asked fellow bishops’ spouses to write about their lives. This is a collection of those contributions, linked by reflections from Jane Williams herself.

She says in the final chapter: “Christian ministry is incarnational. It matters that it is done by particular people in particular situations . . . there is really no alternative to meeting and talking and praying together.” So here are the stories of 21 particular spouses (mostly wives, though there are two Australian husbands) in particular situations, reporting on how they became Christians, the difference their spouses’ election has made to their lives and their families, and to their own faith journeys.

Not surprisingly, many of the issues raised are common to other spouses, especially other clergy spouses — public perceptions and expectations; tensions between their working lives and their roles as spouse, father being often absent at important family occasions or crises; the vagueness of boundaries between public and private life in a church-owned house.

Many find their position forces them to examine their own faith, and it is moving and encouraging to read their testimonies — “In faith, I try to balance all my roles, including being a bishop’s spouse, and I trust that that will put me where God wants me to be” (US). “Strangely enough, by the grace of God, I have found I can stretch myself to do more than I imagined” (UK). An African wife describes praying with her husband: “The strength received from these short devotions seems to equip the Bishop’s wife with a fortitude I am still yet to understand!”

The stories from areas in which Christianity is a minority religion, where the Christian community is sometimes under attack, and where the bishop’s job can bring him and his family into physical danger, are particularly striking to British readers, and lead Jane Williams to reflect on the roots of Christianity as a minority religion. It is not, she says, “in its heart, well designed for the ruling classes, with its subversive critique of power or its preaching of the God incarnate and crucified. . . Those of us who are able to live comfortable Christian lives have a lot to learn from our sisters in Pakistan, Taiwan and Myanmar.”

Those who have ambivalent attitudes to Lambeth have also much to learn from their Christian counterparts in Africa and Asia. As Jane Williams says: “It is not a luxury for Christian leaders to meet together. It is a simple necessity.” Amen to that.

Sarah Stancliffe is married to the Bishop of Salisbury.

Christian Chat Ups

“IS THIS pew taken?” and “You float my ark” are just two of a top-100 list of embarrassing chat-up lines to avoid, a Christian dating website reports. The painful pick-up ploys were put forward by members of the Christian Connection site, which last week held a dating workshop to encourage members to ignore the one-liners.

Other godly opening gambits to avoid include: “I just don’t feel called to celibacy”, “My parents are home, wanna come over?” and “I didn’t believe in predestination until tonight.”

Jackie Elton, the founder of Christian Connection, said that Christians often feel “conflicted” about dating. “For years, they have been told not to focus too much on outward appearance — that if somebody is a soulmate, it should all come naturally. On the other hand, in a Christian Connection poll, 60 per cent admitted they were attracted first by eye contact and smiles rather than people’s minds.”

Other examples of introductions to avoid include:
• “The name is Will. God’s Will.”
• “How many times do I have to
walk around you before you fall
for me?”
• “Now I know why Solomon had
700 wives. He never met you.”

Celebrating Christian Marriage

Sermon given in Westminster Abbey at the Service of Celebration to mark the Diamond Wedding Anniversary of Her Majesty the Queen and His Royal Highness the Duke of Edinburgh
Monday 19th November 2007

Every marriage is an act of faith.

When you think about it, the promise to be in the company of the same person for a lifetime is an extraordinary thing to undertake; it is a statement of trust in one another and in the future which can never be free of risk. Another person, however well I think I know him or her, however confident I am about the mutual attraction between us, is still going to be deeply mysterious, beyond my control. Giving away my life to them is quite a step.

That’s one reason why marriage has been associated with another kind of faith or trust. A couple undertaking Christian marriage express their trust not only in each other and the future but in God. They declare that they expect there to be something for them to draw upon that is more than just their own strength, their own capacity to love; they open up their relationship to God’s love, in the hope that when they face difficulties they will be able to offer one another more than simply their own individual words and feelings. When a couple get married in the sight of God, they become – in the church’s language – ministers of the gospel to each other. They are equipped and authorised to tell each other good news from God. And the act of faith that is marriage becomes an act of faith that each partner in the relationship will always be able to share that good news with the other.

And what is that good news? Very simply, it is the news that God considers every moment of your life worthwhile; that God is committed to your human joy and fulfilment and that he will not desert you even when you run away from him. When one person promises another to be faithful for the rest of their life, it is a sort of echo of this divine promise; and when this promise is explicitly anchored in an appeal to God’s promise, God’s faithfulness in offering new beginnings, it has a special force. It is not only that the promise becomes more powerful for the two persons most directly involved; it becomes a more eloquent sign to the rest of us. Here is a relationship which proclaims something profound and exhilarating about our humanity: a human being is worth spending a lifetime on, a lifetime of loving attention; and also a human being is capable of giving a lifetime’s attention. Humanity is shown to be at once immeasurably worthwhile and also free to reflect the gift of God’s eternal love in its own relationships. Something is create in the world of everyday relationships that shares the character of what happens when God through Jesus Christ establishes the lasting sign of his love that is the community of the Church.

All this helps explain why marriage isn’t a private arrangement. In addition to the interest that is taken by the state in maintaining stable relationships, there is, even in the most carefully secular ceremony in front of a registrar, some element that recognises the seriousness of giving a lifetime’s effort to support and build up one other human being; everyone seems to acknowledge that a wedding is a moment when we human beings have to become more than we normally are and to speak as if we were capable of more than we might ordinarily think we can do. Even in the full and painful knowledge that, for all sorts of reasons, our commitments to lifelong fidelity may be undermined or shattered, we still believe that this is the mark we have to set ourselves. And Christian marriage goes that one step further and says that for those who can grasp it this relationship between a man and a woman is now a living sign of God’s relation to the world, and of what God thinks about human capacity and dignity. It is a sign telling us that God is to be trusted to be faithful – and that God trusts us to echo that faithfulness.

These things are true of every marriage in the world. But they have an extra dimension in the context of the marriage whose sixty years we celebrate today. Every marriage is a public event, but some couples have to live more than others in the full light of publicity. We are probably more aware than ever these days of the pressures this brings. But it also means that we can give special thanks for the very public character of the witness and the sign offered to us by this marriage, and what it has meant to nation and Commonwealth over the decades. And part of what it has meant has had to do precisely with the sense of unqualified commitment that has been so characteristic of every aspect of this reign: the faithful and creative personal partnership at the centre of everything else has been a sign of creative faithfulness to a task, a vocation, the creative faithfulness that secures the trust, love and prayerful support of millions.

Today we celebrate not only a marriage but the relationship between monarch and people of which also that marriage is a symbol: a relationship in which we see what levels of commitment are possible for someone upheld by a clear sense of God’s calling and enabling, and the corresponding vision of the worthwhileness of this national and international family that is the Commonwealth, which has been the recipient of such unswerving service.

So before we complain too loudly about a world of disposable relationships and short-term policies, a world of fracturing and insecure international bonds and the decline of trust, we should remember today that we have cause for thanksgiving – thanksgiving that God has made human beings capable, against all the odds, of reflecting his own completely costly and self-giving commitment to his world; that the gift of marriage makes this capacity visible in our world; and that, in the lives of the couple with whom today we join in celebration, that bracing, renewing and hopeful vision of faithful generosity has been for sixty years set so clearly before our eyes.

May it be so for many more years.

The Royal Diamond Wedding

HAPPY

ANNIVERSARY.

THANK YOU, BOTH.

A suitably regal anniversary
By Jon Kelly BBC News

It was a very British kind of celebration.

As the drizzle came down on the grey London pavement, Westminster Abbey witnessed a distinctly restrained display of pageantry.

This was, after all, the diamond wedding anniversary of the head of state and her consort.

Elsewhere, such an event would probably be marked with fireworks, triumphal music and military parades.

Here, the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh opened a new public walkway and unveiled a plaque.

There were no street parties, no state banquet. The night before, Prince Charles hosted a black tie dinner for his parents and 20 close friends. And after the church service, that was it.

But this was a couple whose marriage of 60 years had been sealed in a very different age. A time of rationing, bomb-scarred cities, and making the best of one's circumstances.

With this backdrop cementing their union, you wondered what the royal couple made of the tight police security around Westminster Abbey, these defences against a less tangible threat than the one they faced in wartime.

As their car pulled through the light rain past the cordon, a crowd of perhaps 200 or 300 greeted them across the road.

They've done ever so well, haven't they

Jean Harrison, 63

Retired teacher Gordon Grove, 69, cheered as loud as any of them. A Union Jack hat shielding him from the weather, he had risen at 0630 to get here from his home in Evesham, Worcestershire.

"It's just fantastic, really, for any couple to stay together for 60 years," he smiled.

"My wife passed on this summer, and we'd been married for 43 [years]. I'm a great fan of both the Queen and the Duke and I felt I just had to show my appreciation."

Inside the Abbey, the mood was no less restrained.

The morning's one glimmer of showbiz was Dame Judi Dench reading a poem by poet laureate Andrew Motion, but its theme was marked by as much reserve as the rest of the occasion.
"Love found a voice and spoke two names aloud," Dame Judi read, "two private names, though breezed through public air / and joined them in a life where duty spoke."

Outside, pushed against the railings, royal fan Jean Harrison, 63, expressed similar sentiments in plainer language.

"They've done ever so well, haven't they," she said.

"She's not had the easiest time of it, but she's come through OK in the end.

"And Philip might be a rogue, but he's a loveable rogue."

Much of the crowd was made up of foreign visitors to London, unable to believe their luck that they were setting their eyes on a real-life British monarch.

"When I go home, I expect everyone will ask if I saw the Queen," laughs 21-year-old Besa Cowen, from Melbourne, Australia. "But I really did.

"Events like this make you realise how much tradition there is in this country."

And the weight of history was surely on the minds of both the Queen and Prince Philip as they made their way out of the service.

They had experienced a day very much in keeping with their partnership, after all. A contained, unshowy celebration of affection, and one clearly forged in a different age.

Without fanfare, the celebrations were over. A burst of sunlight had already begun to shine through the drizzle.

Relatively Speaking

A fellow resident is taking us to the theatre this afternoon to see the current revival of Ayckbourn's play which hit the West End 40 years ago and has been on tv in two versions.
A good way to round off our golden wedding anniversary revisiting a comedy about a couple who are married and wish they weren't and another couple who aren't married but wish they were.


THEATRE REVIEWS
Relatively Speaking
The Round
Stephen Joseph Theatre
Scarborough
ENGLAND
Great play

Take a simple situation and muddle it up and you have Relatively Speaking, a play written and directed by Alan Ayckbourn. The situation is two young people sharing a flat in London when the telephone rings. From there on you are in the mind of Alan Ayckbourn as he mixes these two young people up with two middle aged people living what they think is a normal mundane life style in a quiet country situation. We are taken from the London flat, designed by Jan Bee Brown, to the even more ingenious garden scene in the country, attended to by the very able stage team who transform one to the other for the use of the players and the delight of the audience.

Eileen Battye and Dominic Hecht between Katie Foster-Barnes and Philip York The players give us fine performances as they live their characters. Dominic Hecht gives us Greg the naïve youth sharing the flat with the worldly Ginny played by Katie Foster-Barnes. They become acquainted with the man who thinks he is in charge, Philip, played by Philip York, who is suspicious of his reliable wife Sheila, played by Eileen Battye. All the actors can be heard in clear diction, and the author’s plain dialogue without the use of bad language is a delight. A wonderful display of the craft of acting. Something that could be dropped from the script is the passive smoking forced on the audience; something that is not necessary to the plot or script. There is nothing worse than having to breath in someone else’s burning paper smoke. The audience did not let this spoil their evening at the theatre, and they took a look at life that has changed little since the sixties when the play was written. It will entertain and delight playgoers for years to come. An almost perfect evening. Enjoy.

“Relatively Speaking” is in repertory at the Round, Stephen Joseph Theatre, Scarborough from the 19th July until the 15th September, 2007. This is a No Smoking theatre. Is there an Air Conditioning certificate prominently displayed in your theatre foyer stating the date of manufacture of the appliance and when the system was last inspected and serviced - if not, complain to the theatre management.

In sickness and in health

My wife goes into hospital today for an operation tomorrow.



I shall be going with her as the hospital is some way from where we live down the coast in the city of Hull.



No blogs until we return.

(P.S. The above was written Monday but I forgot to post it before departure)

Licence to Wed

This was a film I thought would be interesting to view but the critical reviews mean I shall not rush to the cinema but await its appearance on free television.

License to Wed

License to Wed (spelled Licence to Wed outside the United States) is a 2007 romantic comedy film starring Robin Williams, Mandy Moore, and John Krasinski and directed by Ken Kwapis. The film was released in theaters on July 3, 2007.

The film has several connections to the American version of The Office. Four Office actors are featured: John Krasinski, (Jim Halpert), Angela Kinsey (Angela Martin), Mindy Kaling (Kelly Kapoor), and Brian Baumgartner (Kevin Malone). In addition, Kwapis has directed nine episodes of The Office, including the pilot.

Plot

Sadie Jones (Mandy Moore) has always longed to marry the man of her dreams in her family church. Though she has found her lifetime companion in Ben Murphy (John Krasinski), Sadie is distressed to learn that St. Augustine's has only one wedding slot available over the next two years, though after re-checking their planning book, they find that the wedding can be held in three weeks. While Sadie and Ben do qualify for the slot, the church's eccentric minister, Reverend Frank (Robin Williams), won't wed the couple until they agree to attend his prenuptial course (shortened, due to the new date, from three months to three weeks). Now as their wedding date draws near, Sadie and Ben must attend every one of Reverend Frank's unusual classes and complete a series of homework assignments designed specifically to irritate one another — in order to get past puppy love and ensure that their union will have a sound foundation.

To Ben's dismay Frank does not allow pre-marital sex.

On behalf of Frank his young assistant breaks into the couple's house and bugs it. Thus Frank and his assistant can listen to all conversations, except that Frank does not let his assistant listen to adult parts. Ben discovers the microphone/transmitter, but does not tell Sadie, for fear that she will accuse him of lying and having acquired the bug device himself.

In one part of the course the couple has to care for twin robot babies. They work on Ben's nerves and he destroys one. Bystanders think he is killing a real baby.

Shortly before the wedding Sadie changes her mind, among other things because Ben has not prepared marriage vows as Frank instructed them to do. Sadie goes on holiday to the honeymoon destination. Frank travels there too, they reconcile, and Frank marries them there.

Critical reception

Critical reaction to the film was mostly negative. Rotten Tomatoes gave the film an 7% rating and a critical consensus of "broad and formulaic". Metacritic.com rated it a 30 out of 100, for "Generally negative reviews". It was reviewed in Variety as "an astonishingly flat romantic comedy, filled with perplexing choices." Numerous reviewers, including Brian Lowry of Variety and MaryAnn Johanson of Flick Philosopher described Williams' character as "creepy" and more worthy of a horror-film villain than a comic lead.

Our Golden Wedding

We were married on Saturday 10th August 1957 at the Methodist Chapel in our home village where we had grown up together.

We began our anniversary day by attending a service of Holy Communion in Dulverton Chapel with fellow residents. Our parish priest presided and preached. It was the feast of St Lawrence, deacon and martyr but he emphasised that marriage and martyrdom didn't necessarily go together. After the service there was a drinks reception for us in the Hall entrance area until noon when we left to change from clericals into going away outfits.

We travelled by train and taxi to an hotel by Newmillerdam near Wakefield where we met up with close family members for evening dinner together. Apart from my brother and his wife the rest of us stayed overnight and met up again for breakfast next morning. We, the golden couple, were booked at the hotel for the weekend.

Saturday saw us enjoying the sun and local water expanse. We also visited our home village and local town - Royston and Barnsley.

On Sunday we began the day at Royston Parish Church followed by a visit to parents' graves in the churchyard. Carvery lunch at the local hotel across from the church. After lunch we spent the afternoon at my brother's home in the village and returned to our hotel early evening.

Next morning it was up and off to Wakefield for journey by train to Cardiff where we lived for the first five years of our married life. Our hotel was just across the road from the Castle and near Cardiff Arms Park.

Tuesday we spent most of the day in the redeveloped Cardiff Bay exploring the newly built home of the Welsh Assembly and the Millennium Centre plus lots of other features of the area.

Wednesday back to visit friends in Splott at the other end of the docks - our home during those early years of our life together and the birthplace of our daughter. Later in the afternoon we relax in the Civic Centre gardens before a visit to a temporary exhibition at the National Museum of Wales on the contribution of two wealthy spinster sisters to the artistic and cultural life of the nation. The gift of their art collection to the Museum was part of the exhibition. In the evening we join the congregation at St Mary's, Bute Street for a eucharistic celebration for the Feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Thursday we meet up for some quality time with another friend from our time in the city 50 years ago before making visits to both St David's Roman Catholic Cathedral and the Llandaff Anglican Cathedral - both uplifting and inspiring places.

Friday is the day of our return to Scarborough which we reach by teatime. So much to share from our travels. Minds and hearts are full of a rich mix of jubilee memories.

We thank God for our years together and for all the blessings of our married life.

We are grateful for family and friends who have been able to worship and celebrate with us.

For all that has been we say 'thanks'; for all that is yet to be we say 'yes'.