Fathers can be mothers

THIS Sunday is Mothering Sunday, not Mother’s Day, says Bob Greig, the founder of a campaigning group, OnlyDads. Mr Greig, a former church worker who started the group two years ago to support single fathers, believes that in calling the day “Mother’s Day” something vital has been lost. “Mothering Sunday is always a difficult time of year, because, if you are a single dad, you have had a catastrophe,” he said. It was “very hard for dads, and for children who just have dads to care for them. But we do mothering, we do nurturing. “The Church has let Mothering Sunday slip. The concept of mother ing has been lost and has been replaced with the person of ‘Mum’. The focus has moved from nurturing to a named individual.” On his website, Mr Greig said that his two young daughters received mothering from “a range of other sources: grandmas, aunties, teachers, friends, and neighbours . . . as well as from Dad. We are convinced going back to ‘Mothering Sunday’ will allow society to reflect and appreciate the wider role of ‘mothering’ that can be missed if we just concentrate on ‘mothers’.”

Consecrated Ironing

(when I came to do my blog today I found it was to be in the company of a lady of the house busy at her ironing)

It is a statistic that may get housewives across the nation hot under the collar.

Women do an average of 215 miles of ironing in their lifetime - the equivalent of eight marathons - according to a study.

That works out at 3.5 miles or two whole days of ironing every year.

Women spend the equivalent of two whole days a year at their ironing boards

While it's full steam ahead for the ladies, it seems men have more pressing matters to attend to.

They manage just 73 miles of ironing in a lifetime.

A poll of 3,500 adults also found that 45 per cent of men deliberately do a shoddy job with the iron in the hope that someone else will take over.

And a quarter of men confessed that they still got their mothers to do their ironing.

The poll also revealed the average person will iron 20 bits of clothing every week, including four pairs of trousers, 15 tops or shirts and a piece of underwear.

A spokesman for appliance maker Tefal, which carried out the study, said yesterday: "It's staggering to learn just how far we iron in our lifetime. But it's time for blokes to do their fair share."

"The fact we push our irons an arm-aching 215 miles really puts it into perspective.

"Ironing is part of our weekly chores and how well you iron and how your shirt looks can influence first impressions."

According to the survey, 3pm on a Sunday is the preferred time for many to press the bulk of their clothes.

A quarter of those taking part even said they found the task therapeutic.

One in five even admitted they enjoyed ironing, using it as an excuse to get away from their children, husband or wife.

However, more than half of those polled also admitted they had ruined clothes because of their lack of ironing skills.

Wife and Mother

St Monica

It is often said that behind every great man there is an even greater woman! A light-hearted version of the same one-liner suggests that behind every great man there is an astonished mother-in-law! Joking aside, history bears witness to the truth that behind many a great saint there is an extraordinary mother, and one such mother was St Monica, the mother of St Augustine.

St Monica was born in Tagaste (modern-day Souk Ahras, Algeria) in around 332 to 338. She was raised in a Christian home but married Patricius, a pagan, who proved to be an unfaithful and violent husband (although he never beat Monica). Despite her unhappy marriage St Monica persevered and loved her husband as best she could. Although our age may find this counsel difficult to accept, she advised other women going through marriage difficulties: ‘If you can master your tongue, not only do you run less risk of being beaten, but perhaps you may even, one day, make your husband better.’ The advice paid off in her own life as Patricius underwent a conversion and from that time on led an exemplary Christian life.

St Monica bore three children. Although proud of her son Augustine in many ways (he was a very successful rhetorician and scholar), she was deeply ashamed of his rejection of her Christian faith and his debauched way of life. Distraught and at the end of her tether she approached St Ambrose who was so moved by her witness of a mother’s love that he said: ‘It is impossible that the son of so many tears should perish.’ He was right and, at the age of twenty-eight, Augustine was received and baptized by St Ambrose himself.As St Monica lay dying, aged fifty-six, she said: ‘There was indeed one thing for which I wished to tarry a little in this life, and that was that I might see you a Catholic Christian before I died. My God hath answered this more than abundantly, so that I see you now made his servant and spurning all earthly happiness. What more am I to do here?’

On this her feast-day we pray to St Monica who is patron saint of patience and of all wives and mothers, and we ask for her intercession that all those called to the noble vocation of marriage and motherhood.

Mothering Sunday

When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, "Woman, behold, your son!" Then he said to the disciple, "Behold, your mother!" And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.

Gospel of John 19:26-27

Today is Mothering Sunday. Only some of us are mothers but we all have mothers. We have a common experience of being mothered. So let's praise and thank God for that.

First, let's thank God for our natural mothers.
There is an old Jewish proverb that declares 'God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers'. Some of us grew up with the chorus hymn ' Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so' but now we realise it would be equally true to say 'Jesus loves me this I know for my mother told me so'. It was probably grandmother who told her. If it was our privilege to drink in the love of God with our mother's milk then that is certainly something for which we shall want to thank God. Paul wrote to Timothy 'I remember your sincere faith, a faith which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure dwells also in you'.
So today we thank God for our natural mothers who reflected the love of God to us and introduced us to Jesus and the Gospel.

Secondly, let's thank God for Mother Church.
It was Cyprian who said 'No man can have God as Father who does not have the Church as Mother'. The Church is the Bride of Christ and the Mother of all the faithful. The Church cares for us as a mother and provides for our spiritual nourishment and growth. She also teaches us to be good family members and to act with love towards our brothers and sisters in Christ. She also mediates for us with God the Father. It is appropriate for us to love Mother Church despite her imperfections. Jesus did and gave his life for her.
So today we thank God for Mother Church who mediates the love of God to us especially through Word and Sacrament and Pastoral Care.

Thirdly, let's thank God for Mother Mary.
When Jesus from the Cross said to his mother 'Woman, behold, your son' and to John 'Behold, your mother' it was his deliberate intention to make his words universal as well as personal. John Paul II in his 1987 encyclical 'Redemptoris Mater' wrote 'This is true not only of John, who at that hour stood at the foot of the cross together with the Mother, but it is also true of every disciple of Christ, of every Christian'. Mary is a model of love and mercy, interceeding with her son Jesus for us, her children here on earth. Mary is the perfect example of motherhood both to natural mothers and to Mother Church.
So today we thank God for Mary our Mother continuing to pray for us, to protect us and all her children who seek to be faithful to her Son.

On this Refreshment Sunday the Lenten Fast eases briefly with flowers and simnel cake and rose vestments.

Soon we return to our journey towards Calvary where we too may stand at the foot of the Cross. There we will do well to note ,through Mary, the cost of mothering along with all the other truths of our redemption.

Sermon preached in Dulverton Chapel today.

Queenship of Mary

Our Lady Queen and Mother

On the octave of the Assumption the liturgical calendar honours the Queen who, as Mother, continues to intercede for all her children.

We believe that after Mary was assumed body and soul into heaven, she was crowned Queen of Heaven. Tradition informs us that Jesus received his mother and enthroned her next to him. Mary shares in the glorified life of her risen Son.

Today's celebration was instituted by Pope Pius XII in his Encyclical of 1954 'Ad caeli reginam'.

St Bernard of Clairvaux wrote of Mary's Queenship: "Just as Mary surpassed in grace all others on earth, so also in heaven is her glory unique. If eye has not seen or ear heard or the human heart conceived what God has prepared for those who love him (I Corinthians 2.9) who can express what he has prepared for the woman who gave him birth and who loved him, as everyone knows, more than anyone else."

The opening prayer of the feast: "Father, You have given us the Mother of Your Son to be our Queen and Mother. With the support of her prayers may we come to share the glory of Your children in the Kingdom of heaven."

His Mother and mine

Luke 2.33-35 (Our Lady of Sorrows links Mothering Sunday and Fourth in Lent)


33The child’s father and mother were amazed at what was being said about Jesus. 34Then Simeon blessed them and said to his mother Mary, ‘This child is destined for the falling and the rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be opposed 35so that the inner thoughts of many will be revealed - and a sword will pierce your own soul too.


DOGMATIC CONSTITUTION ON THE CHURCH LUMEN GENTIUM
SOLEMNLY PROMULGATED BY HOLINESSPOPE PAUL VI
ON NOVEMBER 21, 1964

CHAPTER VIII
THE BLESSED VIRGIN MARY, MOTHER OF GOD IN THE MYSTERY OF CHRIST AND THE CHURCH


52. Wishing in His supreme goodness and wisdom to effect the redemption of the world, "when the fullness of time came, God sent His Son, born of a woman, ..that we might receive the adoption of sons".(283) "He for us men, and for our salvation, came down from heaven, and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit from the Virgin Mary." This divine mystery of salvation is revealed to us and continued in the Church, which the Lord established as His body. Joined to Christ the Head and in the unity of fellowship with all His saints, the faithful must in the first place reverence the memory "of the glorious ever Virgin Mary, Mother of our God and Lord Jesus Christ".

53. The Virgin Mary, who at the message of the angel received the Word of God in her heart and in her body and gave Life to the world, is acknowledged and honored as being truly the Mother of God and Mother of the Redeemer. Redeemed by reason of the merits of her Son and united to Him by a close and indissoluble tie, she is endowed with the high office and dignity of being the Mother of the Son of God, by which account she is also the beloved daughter of the Father and the temple of the Holy Spirit. Because of this gift of sublime grace she far surpasses all creatures, both in heaven and on earth. At the same time, however, because she belongs to the offspring of Adam she is one with all those who are to be saved. She is "the mother of the members of Christ . . . having cooperated by charity that faithful might be born in the Church, who are members of that Head." Wherefore she is hailed as a pre-eminent and singular member of the Church, and as its type and excellent exemplar in faith and charity. The Catholic Church, taught by the Holy Spirit, honors her with filial affection and piety as a most beloved mother.

61. Predestined from eternity by that decree of divine providence which determined the incarnation of the Word to be the Mother of God, the Blessed Virgin was in this earth the virgin Mother of the Redeemer, and above all others and in a singular way the generous associate and humble handmaid of the Lord. She conceived, brought forth and nourished Christ. she presented Him to the Father in the temple, and was united with Him by compassion as He died on the Cross. In this singular way she cooperated by her obedience, faith, hope and burning charity in the work of the Saviour in giving back supernatural life to souls. Wherefore she is our mother in the order of grace.

"Father, You have given us the Mother of Your Son to be our Mother. With the support of her prayers may we come to share the glory of Your children in the kingdom of heaven".

"Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death".

Ivy 1911-2007

Ivy was born in Godley Street and her grandmother was the village midwife who also would sit with the dying and share their final hours with them. She was the middle daughter of three and they attended school where the doctor's surgery and the chemist are now situated.

When she left school Ivy first did domestic work for an elderly lady here on Midland Road and an insurance man who lived on Smithy Hill. Then she had two living in jobs with a family at Birkenshaw and the MacIntosh's of toffee fame at Connyngham Hall, Knaresborough.

She met Arthur, her late husband, when he came from Wakefield to work at the local pits. He lodged for a time with Ivy's parents and through the chapel their friendship developed and 75 years ago this year they married. There were many good years together - though some very hard ones too - but sadly Arthur died in 1974 as a result of the toll taken on him by the years down the pits in poor working conditions. They shared a number of homes together in Royston starting in a historic grammar school cottage overlooking the parish church and finishing at 24 High Street at the top of the Green. Home and Chapel were the centre of their lives, Family and Faith what made them tick.

After Arthur's untimely death Ivy soon moved into the Well Hill Grove community where she stayed until she chose to move to the Methodist Home, Priceholme, at Scarborough 5 years ago today. She has had periods of illness in hospital this last couple of years and this last Christmas it was clear that she needed more nursing care than Priceholme could provide and so she went to Beechwood where she died last week. There she has received all the "tender loving care" she needed. An abundance of rich memories and a continuing interest in friends old and new occupied her daily thoughts and conversation right up to her last hours. She knew that journey's end was near and travelled from this world to the next both calm and serene and full of hope in a loving God and a compassionate Saviour.

When she was in hospital in the summer of 2005 she thought she would put a few memories about her life down on paper and she concluded them with these words: "Every night I say 'Thank you, Lord, for carers, friendship, and family. Please make me worthy of it all. Good night!" She loved keeping scrap books and in one of them is this anonymous quotation that clearly meant a great deal to her: "Death is a method that the Lord has chosen to gather the souls of those who by their time on earth have proved worthy to dwell in the land of new birth."

So today, as we lay her body to rest in the soil of her native village, we thank God for his work of grace in Ivy's life and we have no doubt that she is amongst those "proved worthy to dwell in that land of new birth".

May she rest in peace and rise in glory.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. AMEN

Passion and Resurrection

Mother breathed her last earthly breath at 2.45 a.m. this morning.

May she rest in peace, and rise in glory.

She now breathes the pure air of heaven.

Thanks be to God.

St Brigid's Cross

I have been out to purchase a cross to hang on the wall of my sick mother in her nursing home room so that she can see it from her prostrate position in her bed. I believe that it will speak to her(and she can speak to it) at a time when other forms of prayer and sharing in public worship are no longer possible. Of course, she can remain a sick communicant through the regular visits of a church representative.

The story of St Brigid's Cross is relevant:
Story of St Brigid and her cross
St. Brigid and her cross are linked together by the story that she wove this form of cross at the death bed of either her father or a pagan lord, who upon hearing what the cross meant, asked to be baptized. One version goes as follows:
A pagan chieftain from the neighbourhood of Kildare was dying. Christians in his household sent for Brigid to talk to him about Christ. When she arrived the chieftain was raving. As it was impossible to instruct this delirious man, hopes for his conversion seemed doubtful. Brigid sat down at his bedside and began consoling him. As was customary, the dirt floor was strewn with rushes both for warmth and cleanliness. Brigid stooped down and started to weave them into a cross, fastening the points together. The sick man asked what she was doing. She began to explain the cross, and as she talked his delirium quieted and he questioned her with growing interest. Through her weaving, he converted and was baptized at the point of death. Since then the cross of rushes has been venerated in Ireland. This feast is celebrated on the first day of Febuary.

Here is more of St Brigid, co patroness with St Patrick of Ireland:
According to tradition, St Brigid was born at Faughart near Dundalk, County Louth, Ireland. Because of the legendary quality of the earliest accounts of her life, there is much debate among many scholars and even faithful Christians as to the historicity of her biographies. According to her biographers her parents were Dubhthach, a pagan chieftain of Leinster, and Brocca, a Christian Pictish slave who had been baptized by Saint Patrick. Some accounts of her life suggested that Brigid's mother was in fact Portuguese, kidnapped by Irish pirates and brought to Ireland to work as a slave in much the same way as St. Patrick. Brigid was given the same name as one of the most powerful goddesses of the pagan religion which her father Dubhthach practised. Brigid was the goddess of fire, whose manifestations were song, craftsmanship, and poetry, which the Irish considered the flame of knowledge.
Whether she was raised a Christian or converted in 468, as some accounts say, is unknown, but she was inspired by the preaching of St. Patrick from an early age. Despite her father's opposition she was determined to enter religious life. Numerous stories testify to her piety. She had a generous heart and could never refuse the poor who came to her father's door. Her charity angered her father: he thought she was being overly generous to the poor and needy when she dispensed his milk, butter, and flour to all and sundry. When she finally gave away his jewel-encrusted sword to a leper, Dubhthach realised that perhaps her disposition was best suited to the life of a nun: would a husband tolerate her profligacy? Brigid finally got her wish and she was sent to a convent.
Brigid recieved the veil from St. Mel and professed vows dedicating her life to Christ. From this point biographers heap stories and legends on Brigid. She is believed to have founded a convent in Clara, County Offaly - her first: other foundations followed. But it was to be in Kildare that her major foundation would emerge. Around 470 she founded a double monastery, for nuns and monks, on the plains of Kildare (Cill-Dara). As Abbess of this foundation she wielded considerable power, but proved to be a wise and prudent superior. Legends surround her, even her blessing as Abbess by St. Mel has a story attached to it. According to the legend, the elderly bishop, as he was blessing her during the ceremony, inadvertently read the Rite of Consecration of a Bishop and that this could not be rescinded, under any circumstances. This legend is unsubstantiated: there was no question her being ordained, but what is more likely is that this is a story which evolved to explain a unique administrative status which was conferred upon the Abbess of Kildare: Brigid and her successor Abbesses at Kildare had an administrative authority equal to that of a Bishop until the Synod of Kells in 1152.
Brigid was famous for her common-sense and most of all for her holiness: in her lifetime she was regarded as a saint. The Abbey of Kildare became of the most prestigious monasteries in Ireland, famed throughout Christain Europe. In the scriptorium of the monastery, for example, the famous illuminated manuscript the Book of Kildare was created.
She died at Kildare c 525 and was buried in a tomb before the High Altar of her Abbey church. After some time her remains were exhumed and translated to Downpatrick to rest with the two other patron saints of Ireland, St. Patrick and St. Columcille. Her skull was extracted and brought to Lisbon, Portugal by two Irish noblemen, and it remains there to this day. There is widespread devotion to her in Ireland where she is known as the 'Mary of the Gael' and her cult was brought to Europe by Irish missionaries in the centuries after her death. Her feastday is celebrated on February 1st.
Similar to the association between St. Patrick and the shamrock, a tiny cross made of rushes was linked with St. Brigid. Legend has it she made the cross from rushes she found on the ground beside a dying man in order to convert him. It remains the custom in many houses in Ireland to have a St Brigid's Cross in honour of the saint; it is a commonly believed by some that the St Brigid's Cross protects the house from fire. According to tradition a new cross is made each St Brigid's Day (February 1), and the old one is burned to keep fire from the house.
Many believe that Brigid was not an actual person, but rather a Christianization of the pagan goddess in order to convert Celtic pagans to Christianity. Given the struggle Christian missionaries faced in their efforts to preach the Gospel in Ireland, even though they Christianized some elements, the adoption of a pagan goddess into the Communion of Saints may have been an effort to Christianize one of the most enduring pagan goddesses. Most historians say that she was a real person whose life was embellished by imaginative hagiographers, and this seems the most likely scenario.

Christmas in hospital

Christmas day begins with hearing Ian McMillan, Yorkshire poet, on radio telling about a Christmas Day visit to his dying father in Barnsley General Hospital. The nurses came round delivering a Christmas present to each patient. Ian described his father's death that afternoon, surrounded by family, his bed adorned by a prominent bottle of after shave. The myrrh presented to the babe of Bethlehem was a prophecy of his death and a preparation for it.

My mother, aged 95, has spent today in the stroke unit at Scarborough hospital where she has been a patient for a month tomorrow. Her speech is clear and her brain continues to function well but she now has an unresponsive side to her body as well as other complications. My wife and I visited this morning and found her eagerly awaiting our help to open her presents - a couple of books, a box of goodies, a new dressing gown, and a framed photograph. It was very homely in her alcove shared with two other stroke victims. The staff are excellent in the care, good natured-ness, and general spirit of friendly banter. Decorations, music, and activity all shout unashamedly "You may be in hospital but we intend you still to have as happy a Christmas Day as we can manage. Your wishes are our command". She is surrounded by her Advent Card and multitude of Christmas cards from family and friends. We are able to speak with some of them in her hearing on a mobile phone. She proudly clings to her richly decorated menu card telling of Christmas fayre for today and tomorrow. A lay assistant from the chaplaincy team calls by to represent the concern and prayers which she and all her fellow patients are being drawn into in the chapel and home congregations today.

She, and we, know that she cannot return to her Methodist Care Home and that she expects to be discharged to a local nursing home later in the week. The love of family, church, NHS, will go with her and support her through this difficult transition but for today she is comfortable, calm, and at peace with herself, the world, and her God.

Prayer is the soul's sincere desire

Sorry I wasn't able to contribute yesterday.

My mother has been in hospital(age 95) and was discharged yesterday so I needed to be with her.Had I been at the computer today's title would have been yesterday's because I wanted to declare early in the life of this blog that these ramblings only emerge out of a philosophy reflected in the words of the hymn from which this first line is taken.

James Montgomery 1771-1854 , who wrote the hymn, has been known to me since boyhood from his statue outside Sheffield Cathedral. Though born in Scotland, the son of a Moravian minister, most of his adult life was in Sheffield where he edited a local paper. He wrote almost 500 hymns. He died in the city.

At this stage all I wish to say about the life of prayer is that the internet can be a helpful aid.
I commend three sites that I use regularly:
1. gratefulness.org where you can start the day by lighting a candle and adding a prayer. My candle continue to burn on my opening page each time I log on.
2. sacred space.ie. a Jesuit site with daily Ignatian Bible meditation.
3. monks of adoration.org where you can visit the chapel to focus on Our Lord present in the Blessed Sacrament.